Madness and mayhem abound aboard LN 698! Please find below the web report for today (day 4 , 2nd July) written phonetically by two very broad scots ladies - with the anglicised version below!
Enjoy! Rae x
Lord Nelson - Day 4 - Todae is the Scots version o' the day curtisi O' Kate & Margaret.
I's bin allocated the BOGS tae clean. Jist the ticket for the womin - must hae been a man that said git her on the heeds. Heeds bein the sea farin name fir the toilets. Yisterday it was blawn a gale an the food was fair rollin doon the tables. The day it's nae sae bad but Captain says we bitter gang awa by the aefternane and heed doon tae the Isle O Man.
Whit else is happin the day? Weel, there wis a lot o beer drank last nicht as we dinni hae tae dae ono o the watchy shifts. So needless tae sae them men gae it laldi on the pints o beer. Must hae been why the womin got the heeds tae dae this morning. Few Para Handy heeds on tap o the shooders!
That Chris wis tryin tae educate us aw last nicht. He wis tryin very hard tae teach us aboot the world and its oysters. Did yea ken that the hottest place in world wis - forgit the name - it'll cam back tae me in a minite.
Aye it was The forgot it agin bit its awfi hot 120 degrees. Neer mind I'll cari on wi somin else.
We hae twa naw three Iti's on the ship. When wis heavin wi them it naw - 'twa, sex, heeeve' - its noo 'Dua Say Teera'. It's actually mare rhythmical and we poud a lot better. So the day we will be hevin and a blawin when wir poolin them ropes to git the sails up and git under way.
Kates bin on the brekkers and thir wis braw black pudding. God help those that ir doon wind o the men - it'll nae be the sea air thir smellin!!
For the uninitiated in the language of the Scots, a English Version is below
Today is the Scots version of the day courtesy of Kate & Margaret. I have been allocated the heads to clean. Just the ticket for the women. It must have been a man that said get her on the heads. Heads being the sea faring name for the toilets. Yesterday it was blowing a gale and the food was falling down the tables. Today it's not so bad but the Captain says we'd better set sail by the afternoon and head down to the Isle of Man.
What else is happening today? Well, there was a lot of beer consumed last night due to the fact that we didn't have to stand watch being at anchor.
This must be why the women got the heads to do as maybe the men had a little sore one. Chris was trying to educate us but to no avail - still can't remember the hottest place in the world but it is 120 degrees. We have three Italians on the ship and when we are pulling the ropes we do not say 'two, six, heave' - we say 'due sei tira'. It is more rhythmical and we pull the ropes much better. Today we will be heaving and blowing when we are pulling the ropes to get the sails up and under way. Kate has been on breakfast and there was good black pudding. God help those down wind of the men - it will not be the sea air we are smelling!!
Update By: Kate & Margaret