Hold the headline!
Further suspicious deaths! Woolley has been murdered outside the engineers’ workshop with a mobile phone whilst rumours abound of the untimely demise of Sarah with an ironing board in the lower mess.
Cookie Dave told us he was a ninja cook and could kill us all with one chop – we believe him! Most of us thought he’d murdered the joke still, is ‘death by chocolate’ to be on the menu?? Could Cookie be the cereal – I mean serial killer? Has he done Thyme? Tis murder most fowl (Well, I‘ve seen the menu) Times are grim. The crew are dropping like flies!
Yikes – it now sounds like the bosun, engineers and mate are murdering a song. There are all sorts of antics going on in various corners of the Lord Nelson, in readiness for the Sod’s Opera tomorrow night. People keep hiding round corners, humming tunes, pinching materials, all in preparation for the on board talent show - assuming they survive that is! ‘Whodunnit? We don’t have a cluedo’ to quote Cookie Dave!
Watch this space for further mirth, mayhem and merriment!